How to Stop Worrying About What Others Think: Showing Up in the World Just as You Are
This is what the Little White Lie Movement is ALL about. It’s about showing up in the world as yourself, your magnificent self, no matter your age, looks, background story, etc. It all started almost a year ago (hard for me to believe!) when I decided to face my own Little White Lie. I’d been dying my hair for over 30 years, and feeling increasingly uncomfortable with the inauthenticity of it – because I was in the visibility/authenticity business and here I was hiding something that was a major (and, actually, beautiful) part of me, because … What would others think of me?
This is the topic I tackled on my recent Little White Lie Show, along with my amazing guest, Joie Gharrity, brand strategist, marketer, and founder of 113 Branding. You can watch the full version of our conversation right here:
So, we want to show up as we truly are, don’t we? How do we do that? How do we not worry about what others think?
I ask Joie, “What’s a key tool to help someone cross that bridge?”
Joie has done a lot of exploring into this idea of being liked, “being a likeable leader.” She says, “Being ‘likeable’ is a title given to us at a very young age, especially for women. What is it not to be liked? Scary stuff! Very scary place to be.” Joie realized recently that in order to really stand in her leadership spotlight, to make that stretch, she had to move out from being a ‘likeable leader.’
Boy, I can really relate – can you?
As the Little White Lie movement is getting legs and moving to places I never would have imagined a year ago, I’ve been getting more and more uncomfortable. I’m having thoughts in my head like, “Can you really do this at 60?” Then I have to remind myself that I have at least 30 more years ahead of me! Why not, right? Still, it can be very tough, and from what I hear from our Little White Liars, Joie and I aren’t the only ones.
When she decided to leave her ‘likeable leader,’ Joie shares, “there was a mourning process. It took me a minimum of four weeks to start feeling better, because I was so in fear mode over this. I’ve always wanted to be liked; I’m very supportive, encouraging, that kind of gig. So what I had to find for myself is a balance if I am to be the intentional leader – my life purpose of why I’m really here.
I had to look at my inner game, and just be like, “Know thyself”.
You have to realize that you are going to push buttons and have conflict along the way if you are truly sharing your unique points-of-view.”
So powerful – I love this inner game exercise of, well, facing that LWL you might have that blocks you from showing up as your authentic self. When we care too much about being liked, or what others think, it can actually hold us back from carrying out our life purpose!
Joie shares 3 great tips for us:
Identify your IT Factor. That is your life purpose. “It is your birthright of what you were born to do. It has nothing to do with your last name, the money you grew up with, the money you have going on for yourself right now. It’s about being at ease with yourself, standing in your spotlight with intention”. Take time to get really quiet with yourself, and start identifying what kind of leader you are going to be. Put it out there!
Stand in your IT Factor – walk your talk. “Share the type of leader you are in the marketplace openly … Scream it from the mountaintops! It will reinforce for you that this is your birthright”. It’s going to be scary at first, but with time, it will become just like a second skin.
Find your group. One that will be interactive, supportive, encouraging, and collaborate with you. “A big intention for me to get back to the type of leader I was born to be was going back to Hollywood. I spend much of my adult life there. Launching my show was a leap of faith.” Joie recently launched her Hollywood Spotlight Series where she interviews Hollywood insiders.
Final thoughts from Joie:
“I really want to encourage women in particular, to take a look at leadership. We were encouraged as young girls always to be liked. But that likeable leader? It’s exhausting! Put her on the shelf. Create the intentional leader that you’re meant to be. It’ll be a game changer. You will be uncomfortable from sunrise until sunset, but you know what? Life’s so much more exciting now that I made this decision for myself. Doors have just been blowing open for me because I’m in alignment. When we’re in alignment …that’s when things just rock and roll!
To learn more about Joie Gharrity and 113 Branding here: http://113branding.com/home/
So, Little White Liars, who wants to rock and roll with me?
Let’s stop worrying about what others think. Who wants to get uncomfortable, face your LWL, and step into who you really are? The Little White Lie Community has your back! Share your thoughts with the Little White Lie Digital Network. Get in on the conversation that’s happening all over the country, and beyond.
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